The end of the school year ticks closer with each passing day. Students of all ages eagerly anticipate chucking year-end projects and homework for good, yet a subtle weight begins to settle on parents as they look ahead. We only have so many summers left—we better make it count! Summer guilts us all with its finality, as if we’re racing against an hourglass to make each moment unforgettable. As I approach another summer break with my three children, I’m not immune from its suffocating message.
Advertisers take advantage and tease us with the solution found in their theme parks, water rides, or extravagant vacations: Book that getaway and make memories for a lifetime! Yet even those moments will fade, and we’ll still find ourselves anxious when the next summer rolls around. How can we know we’ve done enough?
The fear of time slipping away with our children makes sense. We’re finite creatures after all; our days are limited (Ps. 90:10). Our children will grow and the summers we experience as a family unit will cease. But we don’t need to enter the summer with a yoke of guilt upon our necks. God doesn’t call us to memory-packed summers. His burden is light, and when we approach our summer in his wisdom, we’ll find greater freedom and hope as parents.
Two Truths to Remember
Instead of gripping our fists around unforgettable memories, we can remember we were made to look toward the future. As citizens of a better country, Christians look ahead to the kingdom to come (Phil. 3:20; Heb. 11:16; 13:14). The children in our home are a gift from our Lord, but they too have a bigger purpose than our own happiness. We disciple our children in the Lord so they will go out and bear fruit portraying the glory of our risen Lord. Like the parable of the tenants, the gifts we’re given are meant to multiply in service to our king (Matt. 25:14–30). This doesn’t mean we can’t mourn the loss of tiny hands and gap-toothed smiles. Yet, when we orient our hearts towards the future, we can expectantly hope in the greater joy of our children walking in the fullness of God’s plan for them (1 John 3:4).
We also need to remember that our children’s growth isn’t limited to their years in our home. Most of their spiritual and even academic growth will likely happen throughout the whole of their life, just as it has for us. Formal education may end at 18 or 22, but most of their learning will happen after they drive away.
Understanding this frees us from trying to shove every nugget of life experience into the days between May and August. It also recenters us in the truth that our children are ultimately shepherded by the Good Shepherd who cares for them. He has been leading them and will continue to care for them long after they leave our protection. We don’t know all they’ll do, learn, or struggle with in the future, but we can entrust our children’s future to the loving hands of our Father. This forward mindset winnows our purpose away from huge pressures to a more realistic direction.
Teach Them to Wonder
With an eye to the future and confident in our Lord’s gentle care, here are just two challenges to focus on this summer instead of lengthy bucket lists: Teach your children to wonder, then lead them to the source.
If the majority of our child’s learning and growth is ahead of them, our job is to give them tools. Showing your children how to wonder primes them to marvel at both the large and the small. Direct their eyes to the intricate legs of a caterpillar or the pillowy texture of a cloud in the sky. Allow them to be awed and ask questions. Wonder can be ignited no matter where you are. It can happen at the foot of the Rocky Mountains or in your 1⁄4 acre patch of yard after work. Your children can puzzle over how a river cuts through the Grand Canyon as much as they can study how the architecture of an overpass supports so many cars.
Once you’ve ignited their awe, lead them to the source. Turn their wonder towards worship of their Creator. Let them revel in the truth that “there is none like you, O Lord” (Jer. 10:6). Let them see how the magnificence of a sunset is “but the outskirts of his ways” (Job 26:14). Lead them to think through what their questions and puzzles might tell them about the Lord, and then guide them to the Scriptures that give evidence for those truths. These small practices will provide tools not only for the present, but they will also aid your children as they grow and learn throughout their whole life.
Rest Your Memories in His Hand
Parents, we don’t need to drown in guilt or run ourselves ragged making perfect memories with our kids this summer. God doesn’t call us to a bucket list of Tik-Tok worthy moments. He tells us to train our children in the love and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). We can do that whether we take a two-week trek through the Appalachian trail or never leave our cul-de-sac. Ten years from now, our children might not recall the conversation you had about a caterpillar on the driveway one afternoon in July. But that doesn’t testify to a wasted summer. Our sovereign God can use that moment to stir a lifetime of wonder and worship for your child. And he will be the one faithfully caring for them in every single summer to come.